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Review: ‘The Darkest Hour’ Electrifies The Life Out of Cinema

I love the color orange. I think it is the best color in the world (and just to add a bit of trivia to this review, it is the first color our eyes will see in a group of different colors) and the fact that the aliens in The Darkest Hour were orange is the ONLY highlight of this film. What a piece of crap! I volunteered to go see this movie and review it (against better judgment I might add), and the worst part was my friend paid for us to go see it. I am shamed for being an avid movie buff and wanting to see this one.

Now there will be spoiler alerts in this review for one specific reason, I hope nobody ever goes and see this movie. With that said lets begin the tearing apart…

Plot: Two guys travel to Russia; they get screwed over by a douche bag and decide to meet up with two girls also traveling in Russia at a bar, they get drunk, all electricity shuts off, everyone wanders outside and these little ORANGE (yay for orange) electricity waves fall out of the sky and start vaporizing everyone. Our little band of friends (including the “douche”) all manage to thwart these evil electric beings and travel throughout the city by foot…blah blah blah.

Yeah, that is about it.

I have never seen this much fantastic escapism from any movie character since Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds, however this group of people give it a go. Emile Hirsch runs like a duck (he shouldn’t be filmed running). It took several days locked in a basement for Olivia Thrilby to take of her high heels. The hot blond chick from the first Transformer movie is whiney (I would have left her behind). Every Russian character speaks English (now what are the odds of that actually coming to fruition) and the majority of the cast die (which I honestly could have cared less, I had no investment in any character in the movie), for doing stupid things I might add.

Let me think of some good things about the movie…there was some Russian guy wearing chainmail made out of keys. That was cool. The aliens were orange. Yup, that’s about it.

The acting is okay in the film. I want to believe that the actors and actresses did the best they could with the material that they were given. I don’t know if the film was supposed to go in another direction or what, but I assume the craptastic ending means that there will be a part two to explain anything what-so-ever. I honestly think I’d rather have the flu then have to see this movie again. If you do happen to slip into a theater and watch it, please do not spend any money on 3-D. This is the first third dimensional film I have seen that actually gave me a headache and it was very very difficult to watch. It is pure ka-ka and I give it 0 bags.

About the author

James Fitzpatrick

A self-appointed non-conformist movie enthusiast, I enjoy everything from films depicting alien robots transforming into transportation devices(awesome), thrasher film victims running away from their walking attackers (comical) and overweight individuals over coming domestic violence (engaging). Growing up in the smog induced skies of Southern California, I am the lover of good, bad and horrible movies of all types. The quintessential movie fan whom happens to be (in whispered tones) gay, who would rather watch action movies then musicals (even though I like those sing-along films) any day. Presently living in the Valley of the Sun (Phoenix), I hold a B.S. in Family & Human Development, a B.A. in Sociology and a MAS in Infant Family Practice. I have a deep care and understanding for people and am very knowledgeable about culture and society... with all my brains, compassion and academic know how, I can admit to my love of atrocious 80’s film (The Pirate Movie).

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